Last Kiss

"So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep. And I'll feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe. And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are. I hope it's nice where you are. And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day; and something reminds you, you wish you had stayed. We can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind." -Taylor Swift

It was most definitely a long time coming. You know, I almost titled this "Love Story" because that's what this was. A love story. Two kids on the playground turn into 14 year olds that find each other on accident and, over three years, fall in love and grow up together. Now, let me make several things clear about the end of our story:

1. It was never as easy as people thought. We fought. Three years is hard to accomplish when you're young. It was by no means complete and all out war all the time. I want no one to think that. We were happy. But we fought too.

2. This was as close to mutual as it could be. Time apart was what was best. Neither of us was gaining anything from being together, at that point. He was stressed from building his future and I was struggling with issues I've been struggling with since I was a kid.

3. You will NEVER hear me sling this kid's name through the mud. Just because it's over and it hurts more than I ever could have anticipated does not give me an excuse to air dirty laundry. He is/was/always will be a wonderful man.

4. I regret nothing.

5. I will always believe in love and love stories.

6. You want to talk to me about this? Go ahead. I have nothing to hide. For some reason, I have complete trust in the fact that anything I tell you about what happened, he will back up. We've had each others backs since 2008. No reason why we still can't.

7. Going along with #6, let it be known that if you have a problem with the way that I just handled this, you can definitely take that up with me. Writing is my outlet, I've haven't done or said anything wrong here.

8. Finally, I will treasure every single minute of our time together. Every single minute since June 29th, 2008. I am okay now. I'm okay by myself and that alone shows me that I'm growing from this. Two weeks ago I would have told you that I couldn't make it out of a situation like this. And two weeks ago, that would have been true. But I'm making it. I'm making it. I am alive and while the wound is still so very fresh; I am alive and I am working on being happy again. And, "mystery man" , the only thing (and the last thing) I ever want you to know and I will ever write to you can be summed up best in a Rascal Flatts song (isn't that so like me?!):

           "I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow. I hope each road leads you where you want to go. And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose, I hope you choose the one that means the most to you. And if one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on walking 'till you find a window. If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.... I hope you never look back and you never forget all the ones that love you and the place you left. I hope you always forgive, you never regret, and you help somebody every chance you get. Oh, I hope you find God's grace in every mistake and always give more than you take. But more than anything; more than anything: my wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to." -My Wish, Rascal Flatts

The end..