Long Live

"Long live the walls we crashed through, as the kingdom lights shined just for me and you. I was screaming, 'Long live all the magic we made. And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid.' Long live all the mountains we moved, I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you. I was screaming, 'Long live the look on your face. And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered.' Hold on, we're spinning around. Confetti falls to the ground. May these memories break our fall." -Taylor Swift

Well. Its my senior year. I can't say that I'm "excited" or "looking forward" to it. Its going to be a hard year. I am somewhat proud I didn't take the easy way out and take easy classes. I will graduate high school with almost 20 credit hours at UMKC. I hope to get two things out of this school year, if anything. I hope to prepare myself for college so that I won't struggle my freshman year. And I hope to make memories. Good or bad, I hope to make some. I must admit that going back to school has caused some memories to be brought back up. You see people at school that you weren't forced to face during the summer. So, for the first time in months I've had to think of ways to act around and face these individuals. And I believe I've finally come up with what to say.

Individual #1, I feel like we both know that the only reason we can't be friendly is because of her.

Individual #2, I feel bad for the laugh. I scoffed at your kindness, and it was wrong. In my defense, its just so hard to actually act friendly to you when you cast me out for nothing. I've done nothing wrong to you. Ever. As long as I can remember, there was nothing actually wrong between just you and I. I wish we could have some sort of friendly relationship. I really do. But in this place and time, I'm not sure that's possible.

Individual #3, I hope you know that I still have no problem with you. We have so many classes together. I'd like it if we talked some time.

Individual #4, Interesting how we got pushed together again. I plan to be cautious this time around. I'm happy for the opportunity to catch up this year, though.

Individual #5, I can't wait to see the places you'll go! I consider you a brother and I hope you enjoy your time in high school and live it up to the fullest.

Individual #6, I can't stand you. I can't stand your attitude. I can't stand the way you think you're the best thing out there. I can't stand the way you treat people. I can't stand it. And I'm done standing it. I can't be around you, I won't talk to you. I refuse to let you belittle me anymore or ever again. You will not win. I will go on to better things, and I will be strong. And I'm so sorry you feel the need to try to push me down to make yourself feel better. For the record, I tried so hard to be your friend. A couple years ago, I wanted to get along with you so much. Now, I'm past the point of caring about having a friendship with you. Yeah, it would be nice. But do I want it, at this point? Nope. Not sure I will again.

There you go. That's what I'm thinking after just two days of school. This year, I'm sure, will be full of ups and downs. And I'll have low points and high points. I just hope that on graduation day, I will be able to stand and say that I don't regret a thing.