"You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me. You have knocked me off my feet again; got me feeling like I'm nothing. You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard calling me out when I'm wounded. You, picking on the weaker man. Well, you can take me down with just one single blow. But you don't know what you don't know. Someday, I'll be living in a big old city and all you're ever gonna be is mean. Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me and all you're ever gonna be is mean." -Taylor Swift
I'd like to think that, for the most part, I'm pretty average. I do well in school, I was excited to get my license on my 16th birthday, and I love stores like American Eagle. Just like any other average person, there is conflict in my life. There are people I was rude to and they didn't deserve it. There are people that I feel were rude to me without any real reason. People are people and sometimes things get rough. Personalities clash and arguments happen. These letters are letters to people I've fought with for one reason or another. I could have caused the argument or they could have caused the argument. The relationship between us today, right now, still could be complicated or it could be better better. Regardless, here are my letters to you.
Dear Individual #1, You're the one I probably fight with the least. But we make up for that with cruel words, don't we? I'm not sure either one of us ever mean the words we say in times of anger. I sure don't, promise! That still doesn't keep the wounds from stinging. I think with a relationship like ours, that we struggle to figure out daily and that we put so much pressure on, we're just bound to get in fights. And maybe thats okay. We always bounce back somehow.
Dear Individual #2, I've never really fought with a good friend before. So its all kind of new to me. I wasn't prepared with a reaction for what you said and I wasn't prepared for how much hurt your words inflicted. I think I've moved on, though. I see things about you I didn't see before and I understand you and myself a little better. I don't mean this in a malicious way at all, I swear, but I won't let you get to me again.
Dear Individual #3, I am not surprised by our constant issues. Our attitudes tend to clash frequently. I don't particularly care to be involved anymore, to be honest. When I get wrapped up in my anger, I give you want you want. That won't be happening any longer.
Dear Individual #4, I'm definitely to blame for most of our fights last year. I feel like I had never gone through a scenario like that before and I'd never met someone like you. Really, I hadn't. Your personality was similar to mine in a pretty decent amount of ways and it scared me to lose or be bullied by someone that knew more about me at that time than I knew about myself. I couldn't let go. I should have. And I'm sorry.
Dear Individual #5, We argue a lot. But I'll never give up on you.
Dear Individual #6, I can't stand you. I've been pretending to enjoy your attitude for years now and I can't take it anymore. You are the worst of your kind, disguised by nerdy jokes and fun activities. You are completely unreliable, unhelpful, and unappreciative of the work I do. Forget you. Remember my work ethic? Yeeeah. I'm done. I've put in too much hard work thats gone completely unnoticed by you.
Dear Individual #7, I don't even understand, to this day, what lit the fuse to our arguments. I'm sorry but it was all silly! I'm not sure how I feel about you still but I'm not opposed to being civil. It was so long ago, anyways. I think we can move past it by now!
Dear Individual #8, I dislike you because I feel threatened by you. I wish I could change my jealousy; we used to have fun together.
Dear Individual #9, Our fight was really surprising, but it was building for a while. I wish we could still be good friends but it's hard. And its not the same. I think that it'll be okay, though. I still consider you a friend.
I think that this particular blog was a really good way to release any anger I still had bottled up inside after any of these events with any of these people. I'm not trying to call anyone out. I'm not trying to start any new fights. I think that regardless of my messages to these people, I was a part of the problem. Any fight that any of these people were involved in, I played a part in too. Whether I apologized back when the initial event happened or right now: I am sorry. I make mistakes and I get wrapped up in my emotions. And I'm sorry for hurting anyone of you in any way. But, if theres anything I've learned about life, its that it truly, truly does go on.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Speak Now
"I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest. So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in a mirror. Say it in a letter you'll never send. Or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a resounding voice saying 'I could've but its too late now.' ...I don't think you should wait, I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift is my hero. I'm completely stoked that I have concert tickets! Highlight of my teenage career. But anyways, I actually have this quote hanging in my room. Its from the little pamphlet inside of her, duh, Speak Now album. I almost look forward to her speeches about the album as much as the actual album. Strange but true. Her speeches are honestly inspirational. I have the one from Fearless hanging up too. And if you haven't read them, you should. But this quote is very perfect for what I have to say tonight. As I've mentioned before, I really can't talk. I'm seriously considering doing some investigating and finding out if I have a speech impediment. Because words get jumbled up a lot. However, this doesn't happen when I write it out. Theres a lot I've been wanting to say to a lot of people lately and, quite frankly, I don't have the guts or speaking abilities to say it to their face. Pathetic, I know. But as long as I get it out sometime, I think thats okay. And maybe one day, I'll get some courage and some speaking lessons and "speak now." But for the time being, enjoy sifting through my letters to those I'm affected by or thinking of or apologizing to. You just might be one of them.
Dear Individual #1, I'm so thankful for you right now. You're really goofy and silly. And thats just what I need. Even though, your texts to me aren't always helpful or interesting or have any meaning to them; I'm thankful for them. You kept me from losing it, and you listened to my rants, and you encouraged me that this will all be over soon. Thanks!
Dear Individual #2, I've apologized to you once before but I'm not sure if you read it or accepted it or anything at all. But I'll apologize again. I'm sorry for "hating" you and ignoring you all those times. I had no reason to. I was trying to agree with a person that had more control over me at that time than I ever want them to have again. Thats no excuse. No one should ever have to feel like an outsider.
Dear Individual #3, You're basically my new best friend. In fact, you've probably been my under-cover best friend the entire time. Our opinions are exactly alike and you're fun to hold a conversation with! See, when I watch Sex and the City (my new favorite show, one below Full House!) and see the friendship between the 4 girls, like thats us. Gossiping away. And I feel like if you read this, you'll instantly know I'm talking about you. But I wanted to say thanks. For wishing me the most sincere happy birthday I got from anyone and for being there even more than anyone else. And for understanding. Most of all. Understanding and listening. Thank you, thank you!
Dear Individual #4, Thanks for being there for this life of mine. For holding my hand when I needed it. For admitting that you think I was wrong. For the tough love. For everything. Absolutely everything. I live a fabulous life that I would never trade for anything for because of you. I hope I make you so proud.
Dear Individual #5, You've always known what I consider the "real me." And the sad thing is, all I can think of right now is how good it feels when you laugh at MY jokes, for once. I can't even form a legitimate sentence, so imagine how horrible my jokes are. It really sucks that right now I consider us friendly but I don't consider us friends. This shouldn't be happening. Thats what I think. Not to us. Unfortunately, with all these jumbled up thoughts in my head, not one of them can help me think of a way to re-build the bridge that I helped burn down.
Dear Individual #6, I have respect for you now. I was afraid of you and I was manipulated by this fear. I can't let that happen anymore. I don't agree with you, but I accept the way you are and for the first time in a while, I have respect for you. Of all the cards and gifts I got for my birthday, yours surprised me the most. I thank you for that. Because if you hadn't done what you did, all the things that you said and did recently, I wouldn't be where I am right now: a safe place. I still wouldn't feel welcome. So thank you for the unspoken apology. And in case you're wondering? I accept.
Dear Individual #7, I have NO respect for you. I'm not entirely sure if I ever did. I can't even put a label on what we were or are or will be. But I can tell you that "friends" is not one of those labels. I have no words for you. Maybe we'll talk one day. And maybe I'll say this to your face then. But don't count on it. This anger? This comes from hurt. And you destroyed me to the very core. Truly. I underestimated just what I was dealing with. Thats a mistake I'll never make again.
Dear Individual #8, I will always love you and us. (No mystery here..)
Dear Individual #9, You honestly inspire me! You have a lot of heart and a lot of kindness for someone in high school. A lot of hope too. I wish to have that much hope in people one day too. Thank you for showing me I'm not alone and I'm not the only person in this world that still dreams of something.
Dear Individual #10, I'm glad I'm able to sit in the same room with you and not feel afraid. Everything happens for a reason and I'm glad we both ended up where we are supposed to be.
Dear Individual #11, You are hilarious! You're another person I've realized is a good person to have on my team, you know? I hate the term "true friend." So I won't use it. But "good friend" is a definite yes! You're very helpful and also very inspiring. Despite what you're day is like, you're always honest and you're always kind. You, too, have faith in people. Never give that up, I think it will take you places. You're a good leader and you're good at helping and understanding people. I think that's what you're meant to do.
you mighT read tHese and know InStantly i'm talking about you, or you Might not hAve a clue, or you might not be in here at all, but don't be hurt by that. if you read these, Knowing for a fact its about you, and arE offended or affected by what i Said, then i'm okay with that. these are My thoughts and i'm not ashamEd. this is My own way to "spEak now." (thats the other thing about me, when i do write, its usually really cheesy.)
Taylor Swift is my hero. I'm completely stoked that I have concert tickets! Highlight of my teenage career. But anyways, I actually have this quote hanging in my room. Its from the little pamphlet inside of her, duh, Speak Now album. I almost look forward to her speeches about the album as much as the actual album. Strange but true. Her speeches are honestly inspirational. I have the one from Fearless hanging up too. And if you haven't read them, you should. But this quote is very perfect for what I have to say tonight. As I've mentioned before, I really can't talk. I'm seriously considering doing some investigating and finding out if I have a speech impediment. Because words get jumbled up a lot. However, this doesn't happen when I write it out. Theres a lot I've been wanting to say to a lot of people lately and, quite frankly, I don't have the guts or speaking abilities to say it to their face. Pathetic, I know. But as long as I get it out sometime, I think thats okay. And maybe one day, I'll get some courage and some speaking lessons and "speak now." But for the time being, enjoy sifting through my letters to those I'm affected by or thinking of or apologizing to. You just might be one of them.
Dear Individual #1, I'm so thankful for you right now. You're really goofy and silly. And thats just what I need. Even though, your texts to me aren't always helpful or interesting or have any meaning to them; I'm thankful for them. You kept me from losing it, and you listened to my rants, and you encouraged me that this will all be over soon. Thanks!
Dear Individual #2, I've apologized to you once before but I'm not sure if you read it or accepted it or anything at all. But I'll apologize again. I'm sorry for "hating" you and ignoring you all those times. I had no reason to. I was trying to agree with a person that had more control over me at that time than I ever want them to have again. Thats no excuse. No one should ever have to feel like an outsider.
Dear Individual #3, You're basically my new best friend. In fact, you've probably been my under-cover best friend the entire time. Our opinions are exactly alike and you're fun to hold a conversation with! See, when I watch Sex and the City (my new favorite show, one below Full House!) and see the friendship between the 4 girls, like thats us. Gossiping away. And I feel like if you read this, you'll instantly know I'm talking about you. But I wanted to say thanks. For wishing me the most sincere happy birthday I got from anyone and for being there even more than anyone else. And for understanding. Most of all. Understanding and listening. Thank you, thank you!
Dear Individual #4, Thanks for being there for this life of mine. For holding my hand when I needed it. For admitting that you think I was wrong. For the tough love. For everything. Absolutely everything. I live a fabulous life that I would never trade for anything for because of you. I hope I make you so proud.
Dear Individual #5, You've always known what I consider the "real me." And the sad thing is, all I can think of right now is how good it feels when you laugh at MY jokes, for once. I can't even form a legitimate sentence, so imagine how horrible my jokes are. It really sucks that right now I consider us friendly but I don't consider us friends. This shouldn't be happening. Thats what I think. Not to us. Unfortunately, with all these jumbled up thoughts in my head, not one of them can help me think of a way to re-build the bridge that I helped burn down.
Dear Individual #6, I have respect for you now. I was afraid of you and I was manipulated by this fear. I can't let that happen anymore. I don't agree with you, but I accept the way you are and for the first time in a while, I have respect for you. Of all the cards and gifts I got for my birthday, yours surprised me the most. I thank you for that. Because if you hadn't done what you did, all the things that you said and did recently, I wouldn't be where I am right now: a safe place. I still wouldn't feel welcome. So thank you for the unspoken apology. And in case you're wondering? I accept.
Dear Individual #7, I have NO respect for you. I'm not entirely sure if I ever did. I can't even put a label on what we were or are or will be. But I can tell you that "friends" is not one of those labels. I have no words for you. Maybe we'll talk one day. And maybe I'll say this to your face then. But don't count on it. This anger? This comes from hurt. And you destroyed me to the very core. Truly. I underestimated just what I was dealing with. Thats a mistake I'll never make again.
Dear Individual #8, I will always love you and us. (No mystery here..)
Dear Individual #9, You honestly inspire me! You have a lot of heart and a lot of kindness for someone in high school. A lot of hope too. I wish to have that much hope in people one day too. Thank you for showing me I'm not alone and I'm not the only person in this world that still dreams of something.
Dear Individual #10, I'm glad I'm able to sit in the same room with you and not feel afraid. Everything happens for a reason and I'm glad we both ended up where we are supposed to be.
Dear Individual #11, You are hilarious! You're another person I've realized is a good person to have on my team, you know? I hate the term "true friend." So I won't use it. But "good friend" is a definite yes! You're very helpful and also very inspiring. Despite what you're day is like, you're always honest and you're always kind. You, too, have faith in people. Never give that up, I think it will take you places. You're a good leader and you're good at helping and understanding people. I think that's what you're meant to do.
you mighT read tHese and know InStantly i'm talking about you, or you Might not hAve a clue, or you might not be in here at all, but don't be hurt by that. if you read these, Knowing for a fact its about you, and arE offended or affected by what i Said, then i'm okay with that. these are My thoughts and i'm not ashamEd. this is My own way to "spEak now." (thats the other thing about me, when i do write, its usually really cheesy.)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Keep It Real
"Living life, life in the fast lane. Not that bad, no I can't complain. Who's to say that we can't keep it real? Hold on tight, don't you dare let go. Now's the time, let the whole world know. You can shine bright but still keep it real." -Jonas Brothers
Yes, I still like the Jonas Brothers. I know all their lyrics and I'm not going to lie, Nick is still very very cute. But the reason why I like the song "Keep It Real" is for a different reason. I like the actual message. As silly as it sounds, I just like the tagline: "Keep it real!" Its something I try and strive for, though others might argue differently. I think out of all the things people can say I am and all the things I know I struggle with I've never failed at being myself. The lady I interviewed with at a modeling agency almost a year ago claimed that I was "A girl with a very midwestern face with an average midwestern girl personality." Thanks? But that's besides the point. I decided to make this blog post a little different. I'm going to pick songs, like Keep It Real, that inspire me. Or songs that have a message that I can identify with. I hope that maybe, just maybe, someone reads this and listens to the songs and maybe feels some of the same things I do. Enjoy. :)
1. Who Says by Selena Gomez and The Scene Now, I'm not the biggest Selena Gomez fan out there. I do enjoy her and I found her first CD very easy to relate to and very energetic. I can't really sum up why I love this song in actual words, though. Its one of those songs that you play with the windows down in your car on a day you feel beautiful. The song itself actually makes me feel worth it and special. Its a weird thing to describe, really. The line that gets me? "Who says you're the only one that's hurting?" I really can't describe this one other than its just very upbeat and uplifting!
2. Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin I like any songs that I think help me figure out myself or put a name to what I'm feeling. This is one of those songs! The lyrics are something that, to this day, I listen to and think "That. Is. So. Me!" And holy cow, I just re-read the lyrics and literally everything describing the "she" in the song is me. No fooling. I hope that some of you can relate this well to it too. I think, in fact, that it would ring true to a lot of high school girls. "She would change everything, everything just ask her, caught in the in-between; a beautiful disaster.."
3. I'm Only Me When I'm With You by Taylor Swift Now, I AM a HUGE Taylor Swift fan. But this song has always been one of my favorites for a couple reasons. First of all, I love the romantic aspect of the song. I just like the idea of being excited and being happy to find someone that you feel so comfortable around. Second of all, I like the beat and the energy of the song! It always makes me feel like dancing. Also, I love the music video! Its one of my favorites of hers just because she made it out of videos of herself. As creepy as that sounds, I admire that aspect of the video just because she's putting herself out there in a way that not many artists do. "I'm only me, who I wanna be, yeah, I'm only me when I'm with youuuuu!"
4. 4ever by The Veronicas This songs energy just blows me away! I heard it during a scene in She's The Man. You know when Sebastian/Viola are all over at that carnival? It plays during that scene! I actually really like The Veronicas in general. And I guarantee that most of you have heard their song Untouched. But 4ever rang true to me on a night before the summer of my freshman year, maybe? And it really inspires me to just live. I feel like the lyrics speak for themselves: "So, come on baby, we ain't gonna live forever. Let me show you all the things that we can do."
5. The Climb by Miley Cyrus Cut me some slack, I lived off of Disney. I like this song sort of because it gives me faith that things are going to get better and that I just am in a rough patch. There's always going to be things that stand in the way of getting what you want and reaching your goals and making your dreams come true. You just have to have the mindset to get through those things and come out a stronger version of yourself. I know, all that from Miley Cyrus?! And I'm pretty sure that none of you can lie, you just cant help but feel inspirational when you belt out "Its the climb! Keep the faith, keep your faaaaith!" on top of a desert mountain.
So, thats all for now because Zoology is calling my name. Fingers crossed you like maybe even just one song. :)
Yes, I still like the Jonas Brothers. I know all their lyrics and I'm not going to lie, Nick is still very very cute. But the reason why I like the song "Keep It Real" is for a different reason. I like the actual message. As silly as it sounds, I just like the tagline: "Keep it real!" Its something I try and strive for, though others might argue differently. I think out of all the things people can say I am and all the things I know I struggle with I've never failed at being myself. The lady I interviewed with at a modeling agency almost a year ago claimed that I was "A girl with a very midwestern face with an average midwestern girl personality." Thanks? But that's besides the point. I decided to make this blog post a little different. I'm going to pick songs, like Keep It Real, that inspire me. Or songs that have a message that I can identify with. I hope that maybe, just maybe, someone reads this and listens to the songs and maybe feels some of the same things I do. Enjoy. :)
1. Who Says by Selena Gomez and The Scene Now, I'm not the biggest Selena Gomez fan out there. I do enjoy her and I found her first CD very easy to relate to and very energetic. I can't really sum up why I love this song in actual words, though. Its one of those songs that you play with the windows down in your car on a day you feel beautiful. The song itself actually makes me feel worth it and special. Its a weird thing to describe, really. The line that gets me? "Who says you're the only one that's hurting?" I really can't describe this one other than its just very upbeat and uplifting!
2. Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin I like any songs that I think help me figure out myself or put a name to what I'm feeling. This is one of those songs! The lyrics are something that, to this day, I listen to and think "That. Is. So. Me!" And holy cow, I just re-read the lyrics and literally everything describing the "she" in the song is me. No fooling. I hope that some of you can relate this well to it too. I think, in fact, that it would ring true to a lot of high school girls. "She would change everything, everything just ask her, caught in the in-between; a beautiful disaster.."
3. I'm Only Me When I'm With You by Taylor Swift Now, I AM a HUGE Taylor Swift fan. But this song has always been one of my favorites for a couple reasons. First of all, I love the romantic aspect of the song. I just like the idea of being excited and being happy to find someone that you feel so comfortable around. Second of all, I like the beat and the energy of the song! It always makes me feel like dancing. Also, I love the music video! Its one of my favorites of hers just because she made it out of videos of herself. As creepy as that sounds, I admire that aspect of the video just because she's putting herself out there in a way that not many artists do. "I'm only me, who I wanna be, yeah, I'm only me when I'm with youuuuu!"
4. 4ever by The Veronicas This songs energy just blows me away! I heard it during a scene in She's The Man. You know when Sebastian/Viola are all over at that carnival? It plays during that scene! I actually really like The Veronicas in general. And I guarantee that most of you have heard their song Untouched. But 4ever rang true to me on a night before the summer of my freshman year, maybe? And it really inspires me to just live. I feel like the lyrics speak for themselves: "So, come on baby, we ain't gonna live forever. Let me show you all the things that we can do."
5. The Climb by Miley Cyrus Cut me some slack, I lived off of Disney. I like this song sort of because it gives me faith that things are going to get better and that I just am in a rough patch. There's always going to be things that stand in the way of getting what you want and reaching your goals and making your dreams come true. You just have to have the mindset to get through those things and come out a stronger version of yourself. I know, all that from Miley Cyrus?! And I'm pretty sure that none of you can lie, you just cant help but feel inspirational when you belt out "Its the climb! Keep the faith, keep your faaaaith!" on top of a desert mountain.
So, thats all for now because Zoology is calling my name. Fingers crossed you like maybe even just one song. :)
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Never Grow Up
"Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up. Just stay this little. Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up. It can stay this simple. No one's ever burned you; nothings ever left you scarred. And even though you want to, please try to never grow up." -Taylor Swift
After a major cookie craving after school Monday, I went to Target in search of some deliciously soft cookies that won't break my lent thing (I gave up buying cookies every day at school..so far, I've been successful!). I love going right after school ends because theres usually only cute elderly couples or moms with young kids there. And LOVE kids. On this particular day, I was walking in at the same time as a mother with a baby and a little girl that looked maybe two or three. Not more than three, for sure, though. I of course noticed that the little girl was adorable and so was the baby. As the mother and myself enter the store, another mother with a daughter of the same age is leaving. She's putting up her cart and the little girl is standing up in it, waiting to be lifted out. I see each girl notice the other, keep in mind these girls are only about three years old, and then the girl in the cart grimaces at the sight of the other little girl. The little girl entering with her mother then makes a face back at the girl in the cart and the two engage in a stare down until the one mother lifts the girl out of the cart and exits the store. All I can think is 'Typical behavior of girls. We don't like each other.' Oh, but it gets better. As I'm checking out my options in the bakery section, I see the same little girl and her mother looking at fruit. Just then, a mother with a little boy walks by and I just stare in shock as the little girl bats her eye lashes and waves at the little boy who stares as he follows his mother away. This LEGIT happened. These kids are three. Toddlers. Practically babies still. Yet, they act like high schoolers. Adults, even. The hatred for other girls in your territory. The handsome boy who's eye you catch and instantly mark as your property. And this started me thinking. Do we ever out-grow the drama of our pre-teen, teen, and adult years? Or does it follow us through life, always, until we're no longer here? Is there anyway to avoid it all?
Think about it, really really think about it. We see this pattern of repeating drama, the never ending saga of the way people deal with one another. Girls are the prime suspects. Girls will be girls. Let's face it ladies, we pretty much hate each other, aside from those that we call "friends." And even then, how many of us have found that one of the people we called "the only girl I trust!" turned out to be someone we eventually classify as a "back stabber" or as someone who talks behind our backs? Or worse: the unthinkable crime of someone who flirts with our boyfriend. Why do we hate each other? There always has been and always will be rivalry between girls. Hello, who hasn't seen Mean Girls? I wish, with all my heart, that I knew why some girls get along with each other and others despise each other. I really do. Just like the random girl in the gym that day in Mean Girls: "I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that we could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we'd all eat and be happy." But unfortunately that girl doesn't even go here! (You'll get that joke if you've seen the movie.) We see drama between females on TV, in books, in music, and in movies like Mean Girls. It all starts out innocently enough but soon enough drama comes around and it spreads. Its inevitable. I'm beginning to feel as though its impossible to be solid friends with a girl for a long period of time. And we're all to blame. I've been accused of spreading drama, I've been accused of starting drama, and I've been accused of being involved in drama. Honest, by a show of hands, how many of us have been accused of one or all of those things at one point in time? All hands should be up, I'm sure of it. As I thought about it more, I realized that maybe its not one quality of one girl that, for lack of a better word, pisses off the other girl. I think its all of us, everyone. Even when we throw guys into the mix. Drama in general is a mix of all of us. No doubt you've watched some sort of reality show on TV. Thats exactly what reality shows are. A mix of personalities that will eventually clash and cause, yeah you guessed it, drama. It's going to come around for as long as people interact with people. There's drama in friendships, there's drama in families, there's drama in relationships with the opposite sex. My opinion, no matter what it means to you, is that we all need to be more tolerant, more understanding, more receptive to the people around us. Really, lets cut others some slack.You don't know what people are dealing with. So, before you jump down someone's throat, think: Is this what really happened? Do I know for a fact that she/he did exactly what I'm about to accuse them of? Do I have actual living proof in front of me that this is exactly what happened? Is there a margin for error? In other words, could I have misunderstood what was actually going on? I'm learning this lesson right now and its a toughie. But we all have to try to deal because here's reality: We will ALWAYS interact with people. ALWAYS. For now until the end of time. And we're going to have good friendships/relationships and we're going to have bad ones. AND there's going to be drama. But its up to us to think again and turn bad relationships into good ones and drama into a better interaction between people.
PS: Dear 3 year olds in the grocery store: Life doesn't get any easier. Stick to being three and please try to never grow up. Best regards, me.
After a major cookie craving after school Monday, I went to Target in search of some deliciously soft cookies that won't break my lent thing (I gave up buying cookies every day at school..so far, I've been successful!). I love going right after school ends because theres usually only cute elderly couples or moms with young kids there. And LOVE kids. On this particular day, I was walking in at the same time as a mother with a baby and a little girl that looked maybe two or three. Not more than three, for sure, though. I of course noticed that the little girl was adorable and so was the baby. As the mother and myself enter the store, another mother with a daughter of the same age is leaving. She's putting up her cart and the little girl is standing up in it, waiting to be lifted out. I see each girl notice the other, keep in mind these girls are only about three years old, and then the girl in the cart grimaces at the sight of the other little girl. The little girl entering with her mother then makes a face back at the girl in the cart and the two engage in a stare down until the one mother lifts the girl out of the cart and exits the store. All I can think is 'Typical behavior of girls. We don't like each other.' Oh, but it gets better. As I'm checking out my options in the bakery section, I see the same little girl and her mother looking at fruit. Just then, a mother with a little boy walks by and I just stare in shock as the little girl bats her eye lashes and waves at the little boy who stares as he follows his mother away. This LEGIT happened. These kids are three. Toddlers. Practically babies still. Yet, they act like high schoolers. Adults, even. The hatred for other girls in your territory. The handsome boy who's eye you catch and instantly mark as your property. And this started me thinking. Do we ever out-grow the drama of our pre-teen, teen, and adult years? Or does it follow us through life, always, until we're no longer here? Is there anyway to avoid it all?
Think about it, really really think about it. We see this pattern of repeating drama, the never ending saga of the way people deal with one another. Girls are the prime suspects. Girls will be girls. Let's face it ladies, we pretty much hate each other, aside from those that we call "friends." And even then, how many of us have found that one of the people we called "the only girl I trust!" turned out to be someone we eventually classify as a "back stabber" or as someone who talks behind our backs? Or worse: the unthinkable crime of someone who flirts with our boyfriend. Why do we hate each other? There always has been and always will be rivalry between girls. Hello, who hasn't seen Mean Girls? I wish, with all my heart, that I knew why some girls get along with each other and others despise each other. I really do. Just like the random girl in the gym that day in Mean Girls: "I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that we could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we'd all eat and be happy." But unfortunately that girl doesn't even go here! (You'll get that joke if you've seen the movie.) We see drama between females on TV, in books, in music, and in movies like Mean Girls. It all starts out innocently enough but soon enough drama comes around and it spreads. Its inevitable. I'm beginning to feel as though its impossible to be solid friends with a girl for a long period of time. And we're all to blame. I've been accused of spreading drama, I've been accused of starting drama, and I've been accused of being involved in drama. Honest, by a show of hands, how many of us have been accused of one or all of those things at one point in time? All hands should be up, I'm sure of it. As I thought about it more, I realized that maybe its not one quality of one girl that, for lack of a better word, pisses off the other girl. I think its all of us, everyone. Even when we throw guys into the mix. Drama in general is a mix of all of us. No doubt you've watched some sort of reality show on TV. Thats exactly what reality shows are. A mix of personalities that will eventually clash and cause, yeah you guessed it, drama. It's going to come around for as long as people interact with people. There's drama in friendships, there's drama in families, there's drama in relationships with the opposite sex. My opinion, no matter what it means to you, is that we all need to be more tolerant, more understanding, more receptive to the people around us. Really, lets cut others some slack.You don't know what people are dealing with. So, before you jump down someone's throat, think: Is this what really happened? Do I know for a fact that she/he did exactly what I'm about to accuse them of? Do I have actual living proof in front of me that this is exactly what happened? Is there a margin for error? In other words, could I have misunderstood what was actually going on? I'm learning this lesson right now and its a toughie. But we all have to try to deal because here's reality: We will ALWAYS interact with people. ALWAYS. For now until the end of time. And we're going to have good friendships/relationships and we're going to have bad ones. AND there's going to be drama. But its up to us to think again and turn bad relationships into good ones and drama into a better interaction between people.
PS: Dear 3 year olds in the grocery store: Life doesn't get any easier. Stick to being three and please try to never grow up. Best regards, me.
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