You Already Know

"This bipolar love affair just ain't where it's at for me anymore. So don't let the door hit you when you leave. You throw me in the fire just to save my life. A pretty little liar when I call you out; you'd rather put up a fight than just come clean. Get on your way to making someone else feel low, then higher than they every thought they could go. You already know. I'm giving you up, you're letting me down. Stop pretending that you're going to turn yourself around. You already know. Don't ask me why, you already know." -Train

Why do people lie? I truly don't see a reason for it. If you're afraid the truth will hurt, well, lies hurt worse. If you're trying to cover something up, I guarantee that whoever you're hiding things from will respect you a lot more for honesty. If you're afraid of the consequences that the truth brings, then don't be afraid. The consequences will help you grow. I guess I'm just not understanding why it's so difficult to be honest. If you're truly friends with/in love with/care about/care for someone, you will be honest with them because you owe them that much.

Individual #1, At least you finally admitted your lies. Or one of them. I want you to know that you didn't have to lie. I would have accepted it. But now, you've left me angry and bitter. What else didn't you tell me? I don't know you anymore. And, now, I'm not sure I ever did.

Individual #2, You especially didn't have to lie. Oh, I'm glad you did though. It opened up my eyes to the reality of what you're like. Save the rest of your story for someone else. It's finally my choice to walk away.

Individual #3, On a happier note: thank you for never lying to me! You're so honest. You even tell me the truth that hurts because you didn't want me to hear from someone else. Thank you. That's a true friend.

Individual #4, I don't know why I accused you of lying actually...it was so long ago. We got along so great then, I feel bad for ruining it. I'm glad we're closer now though!

Individual #5, You asked me to be in this weeks post. So. Here you are! You've never seriously lied to me, so your section doesn't have any real relevance. Sorrrrry about it. Just keep giving me hugs! They're my favorite part of the morning.

Chapter Four

"Long days, longer nights. You keep starting fights thinking that you always right. Call you up to tell you I ain't coming home tonight. Say you wanna leave me; it's just talkin' but I know you might. Now get along, now get along, now go. You sing along, now, to every song you know. You play your part, I'm playing mine. You breakin' hearts, ain't breakin' mine. Since growing old is takin' time, I'm acting like I'm eight or nine. Trying to move on and talking to my old friends. See me, say what's up and I'm acting like I dunno them. 'Causing so much problems, why you doing that, doing that? Ripping people's hearts out, you too cute for that, cute for that. We run into each other and it's like we don't even speak the same language. I guess people always going through changes, didn't think I would lose you once I got famous." - Missed Calls by Mac Miller

Individual #1, More on that Spanish class. Probably my favorite memory involves "M". We'll call him "M" for privacy stuff. We used to have marker wars every day that year and the teacher never caught on. We would all throw dry-erase markers at "M" and the second the teacher would catch on someone would yell out: "Stop throwing them at us, M!" and she would buy it. She would eat that up and send him to the safe seat, every time. One day, somebody else threw a metal spoon bent in half at him. I swear, I almost died laughing. Or how about the day that the teacher was reminding us that we had to conjugate certain words differently and I spun around to face her so fast and just spit out: "WHAAAAT?!" and only we thought it was funny? Spanish that year completely solidified the fact that you were my best friend. Lunch that year was funny also! We sat by a certain group of people that was notorious for being loud and obnoxious. Lord knows they would probably "hit me ovaaah the head wit a bottle!" if they knew I said that, too. 

Individual #2, As we got older, you started being more and more of a big brother to me. In 9th grade, when my long time boyfriend and I broke up you met me outside of the school, put your arm around me, and said: "Let's do this." and walked me in. I will never forget that. You have my back, always. I could never thank you enough for that. 

Individual #3, I don't remember when we started getting in fights. And I truly don't know why it's always you and I with the problem. I don't think the blame sits squarely on either persons shoulders; there's nothing specifically wrong or right about either one of us. I just know that I wish we didn't ever argue and stuff. Plus, as I've told you recently, you're the best arguer/debater out there. You scare me senseless with your words, every time. I'll admit that much. 

Individual #4, We do so much silly stuff together. Price Chopper is our current obsession. We constantly go there, but only together. And every time one of us rides in the cart, we always use my Price Chopper Shopper card, and we always use self-checkout. After one of our trips, you were driving me home and we took the long way; through the back of my neighborhood. Suddenly, I saw a trash can sitting outside my neighbors house, full of giant candy cane decorations. I made you stop and I ran and grabbed two of them, one for each of us. So now, we have our own giant candy canes that we sorta kinda stole.. One of my favorite stories, right there. 

Individual #5, While your cousin was still in town, your mom planned this big day out on the lake just playing and kayaking. We got to the lake pretty early in the morning and your cousin and I were paired up for the trip to the spot we were going to rest. She and I were too busy talking about you and our friend that she was interested in (who was also with us that day) to notice that we were drifting towards the rocks. We got to where we needed to be, though we weren't the fastest. When we all stopped, the teenagers started playing in the lake. We had this huge mud fight and it was, honestly, one of my favorite memories. After the whole lake thing was said and done, we all went back to your house. I don't know how we ended up in your brothers bedroom but we did. He had bunk beds, so your cousin and our friend were on the bottom and you and I were on the top. Meanwhile, we shoved one of your other brothers in the crack between the bunk beds and the wall. Now, before you start thinking anything happened, let me say that nothing ever did. We all honestly sat there and talked and cracked jokes. The entire time. Your brother was calling his friends from "the crack" as we called it. Plus, we were all super sunburned and tired. So we watched TV and talked. Pinky promise. Us four got along so well, too. And you and I were getting closer; I liked you more and more each day. That week or so that your cousin was there was one of the best summer weeks I've ever had. I pinky promise that too.